I'll be the first to admit that at times I can be a tough one to please and when it comes to seeing theatre, I can be a pretty harsh critic. Let me just make something clear right now:
Not every piece of work deserves a standing ovation.
In almost every performance I see, there are usually 5-6 assclowns in the first couple of rows who find it necessary to stand up at the end and clap their little theatregoing hearts out. These unnecessary ovation-ers make it difficult to see, causing the people behind them to unnecessarily stand and clap as well, making it awkward for me, the one person sitting and looking around uncomfortably.
Stop it.
We are forgetting what standing ovations are for! Truthful, brilliant performances that move you from start to finish, not "Oh, Karen did a great job! Yay! Go Karen! She was acting a stuff...let's stand!" I can only recollect four times I was at a show that was so brilliant I was compelled to stand and trust me, those four moments have a special place in my heart. I remember the show, the space and the overall experience of pure joy and honest connection with the audience around me as well as the actors on stage. Because of this ongoing standing ovation trend, I have made new rules for myself. The only way you're gonna get my booty out of my chair is:
a) you start shitting gold flakes (impressive)
b) my seat is on fire
c) I have a wedgie
I responded with the following comment (please excuse spelling and grammatical errors):
I have met middle-aged people who have never been to the theatre, and find the experience so jarring when they finally do go they have no idea how to react...so they stand. I have met fundamentalist Mormon plural wives who go to the theatre once a year in rural Utah just as the one day of "vacation" they get away from their families, and they find the experience absolutely liberating...so they stand.
I don't know why people stand at the ends of performances sometimes. I find it more and more perplexing each time I go. So most of the time I don't care...because I'll probably never understand why they do it. I don't know if they're standing for me, the quality of my performance, or something deep inside them that hasn't been stirred in a very long time, or hadn't been touched at all until that very moment. And I don't care. I don't know why people stand at performances I've attended...performances I thought were at best competent, or mediocre with smatterings of "tolerable." If they feel so inclined to stand, they may stand and should do it proudly.
I attended Catholic church most of my life. They told us when to stand, to sit, to kneel. I'm not going to tell anyone they can't stand when they want to at the end of a performance. They're not in a church. And I'm not a priest. They can do as they please. I'm not that reverential to the rules of "Applause Protocol."
I just ask that they keep their Goddamn cell phones off.
- Mark Krawczyk: Devil's Advocate
I responded with the following comment (please excuse spelling and grammatical errors):
I have met middle-aged people who have never been to the theatre, and find the experience so jarring when they finally do go they have no idea how to react...so they stand. I have met fundamentalist Mormon plural wives who go to the theatre once a year in rural Utah just as the one day of "vacation" they get away from their families, and they find the experience absolutely liberating...so they stand.
I don't know why people stand at the ends of performances sometimes. I find it more and more perplexing each time I go. So most of the time I don't care...because I'll probably never understand why they do it. I don't know if they're standing for me, the quality of my performance, or something deep inside them that hasn't been stirred in a very long time, or hadn't been touched at all until that very moment. And I don't care. I don't know why people stand at performances I've attended...performances I thought were at best competent, or mediocre with smatterings of "tolerable." If they feel so inclined to stand, they may stand and should do it proudly.
I attended Catholic church most of my life. They told us when to stand, to sit, to kneel. I'm not going to tell anyone they can't stand when they want to at the end of a performance. They're not in a church. And I'm not a priest. They can do as they please. I'm not that reverential to the rules of "Applause Protocol."
I just ask that they keep their Goddamn cell phones off.
- Mark Krawczyk: Devil's Advocate
